#15

[jadesprite]

i feel like we never have anything to post about anymore mmm. we have meme things from people to be doing but we keep getting distracted trying to write them up! and we have a lot of things to read and watch etc but it feels we never get around to those, either. the thing is that we don't really have anything to actually be doing so i'm not sure what's taking up all our time? what's distracting us. i feel like we just spend a lot of time lying around doing nothing nowadays, certainly not anything productive. not even anything "productive". we kind of wonder if this is depression again but mostly it just feels like apathy. i guess they're not so different, though.

i wish we could just be a spirit. i don't really want to have mortal presence anymore. it's not that i want to be nonexistent as many people presume the ideation of death to be, i'd just kind of like to be out-of-body. without living weight. living ties. i want to be a friendly ghost residing behind the walls or under the floorboards of some sweet young guy's house!! and i'll feed their pets while they're out and find lost things for them and put them back in their place while they're not looking and water their plants and things and they'll never totally know we're there but maybe they'll be made a bit happier by all our little spooky acts of kindness. we have a lot of feelings about nice ghosts actually. people talk about malevolent spirits and hauntings and all that but we think that if ghosts really do exist then most of them hang around because they like where they are! they like the people that they're 'haunting'. but they get given a bad name by a few rude ghosts ruining it for all the others

anyway. i want to be freeeee why do we have to have flesh and blood and why is it all so vulnerable? we wouldn't mind if we could play around with it at least but the human body is really weak. we're pretty fond of bones though! just not all the stuff around and over them. why can't we be an animated skeleton or something??? a cartoon skeleton dude in a suit -- or, what is literally our type when it comes to men. i'm serious. 3D is PIG DISGUSTING i want to be 2d i'll turn to the side and just VANISH i want to be a concept of being, i'm only there when you think about me. a personal deity. individual belief in my existence would be what confirms it for each individual consciousness!!! but it's not the same with mortal beings -- you can't really choose whether to believe in them or not and they continue to exist regardless of it anyway. pesky things, us

w0w i d0n't kn0w where p0sts like this keep c0ming fr0m! we really need t0 st0p rambling s0 0ften. and writing like aradia is way too natural for us probably but it almost feels kind of nice. hmm

let's pretend we don't exist
let's pretend we're in antartica

Comments

[john_egbert]

Oh gosh, I totally understand on the spirit thing! Like, um, have you ever read the Silverwing series of books? They're this silly series of kids books about bats (or not silly, I guess, because they have suicide bombings and death cults and afterlives and cannibalism, and now that I look back on the series it was actually pretty dark?) but at the very end of the third book there's this scene from the afterlife where the dead bat is just this...energy, I guess, and he can become a part of trees and rocks and other animals and stuff and he just watches over his family. It kind of made me nervous to read as a kid, but now that I look back on it it was really a kind of great afterlife. (And gosh, sorry for getting all weepy about kids books on one of your posts!)

But it's just very frustrating sometimes, because there are so many cool things out there-- the sky and space and waterfalls and the bottom of the ocean and the center of the Earth-- but there's really no way for us to actually experience them because our bodies are just too fragile.

[mewmew]

i agree with all of this, i can't form words right now but it feels so good to know someone who is like me!! my body just drags me down. i've been thinking that ever since i saw in serial experiments lain, where they said you don't need your body anymore. join the wired. i wish i could become a spirit, or leave my body and live in the internet.

also, in one of my favorite series, durarara, this one guy seriously says that when he dies, he's going to join the 2D world and have a harem of cute girls. i think it's the best, he's one of the coolest not-main characters. :')

"When I die, I want to go to the place called 2D World."

when we die, we will become anime! ( >w~)9