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jadesprite) wrote2012-02-02 05:13 am
jadesprite) wrote2012-02-02 05:13 am
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#11: transubstantiation
"at the Last Supper, on the night he was betrayed, our Savior instituted the Eucharistic sacrifice of his Body and Blood." -- "this is my body; this is my blood."
im really oddly into this stuff, catholic doctrine & dogma... we were raised catholic. i think we've mentioned it a few times before? don't think not here, though, maybe just on tumblr. but yeah our primary school and most every other in the area was catholic; was called st. mary's, had a little statuette of our lady up on the roof and everything, cut into the peak. the building itself was like, just over 200 years old, i think. we have some vague recollection of them having a bicentennial one year while we were there or maybe just after we left for high school. hmm.
the high school we first went to was catholic, too -- changed to another, non-denominational, after a few months, had an alright enough time time until issues kicked back in a lot harder, had to leave for good -- anyway first school, it was like the gateway high for the primary we went to i think. we remember literally only two kids in our class went to the other instead of this one and they were brothers and we loved one of them and i think that was why we moved, because it just wasn't the same being away from him. the school was called notre dame which i feel means Our Lady in reference again to mary but pls don't quote us on that.
we did first communion in primary four meaning we were... nine i think? nine or maybe eight hmm. first communion is, well, the first time you take communion and your parents have to buy you dumb fancy dress shoes for it and rosaries and they make you wear these really stupid heavy white robes and you have to memorise this one prayer that we cannot recall the actual words for now to save our life but we for some reason very vividly remember something vague about fire and wind. the fire of god. God. idk. it always bothered us you couldn't wear the rosaries around your neck yknow? don't make them necklaces and call it blasphemy to actually wear them like you do every other necklace in existence. or is that like some baby's first temptation of christ stuff
our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil AMEN breathes
i can remember the hail mary by sound but i don't know a single word of it actually. they never taught us what it meant. so to us it's just ave maria, gracia plena, dominus taekoom??? benedit tattoo MAN FUCK IF WE KNOW we could probably recite you it without a second's thought, mind. it was a pretty nice prayer. i think it was our favourite
got a bit bogged down by having to think it constantly after being forced into confessionals though lmao. they were the stupidest thing!!! also a bit depressing. if you told them you had no sins to confess they would just be all "nonsense, everyone is a sinner". catholicism is all fairly gloomy, really. the entire concept of original sin, constant self-flagellation, eternal threat of fire and brimstone hanging over you, etc etc. man it's actually kind of a wonder we're not more screwed up today over our eventual rejection of the judeo-christian god the father, isn't it! a lot of people grow up pretty self-loathing because of it all, pretty repressed. admittedly we did go through a fair sized period of being really sincerely scared of going to hell but i think it's over for good now. now we're basically a shameless godless gross teen blasphemer well oops HERE BECOMES THE BODY AND BLOOD OF CHRIST YOU SAY? OH TRANSUBSTANTIATION, YOU SPEAK TO MY SOUL
no but we are genuinely interested in this -- we want to maybe re-explore it now from a decidedly non christian (esp not catholic) view, hmm. could be interesting?! looking over the bible and reading up on familiar doctrine and seeing now how odd it might all seem to us even though at the time we never thought about any of it.
oh dude we opened up the page for a new entry with something entirely different in mind to write and somehow this happened? what the hell. and now this post feels too long to add on the actual original thing because i think that'd get pretty long, too. and they're not really connected or anything so it'd feel really arbitrary and strange anyway. FUCK
im really oddly into this stuff, catholic doctrine & dogma... we were raised catholic. i think we've mentioned it a few times before? don't think not here, though, maybe just on tumblr. but yeah our primary school and most every other in the area was catholic; was called st. mary's, had a little statuette of our lady up on the roof and everything, cut into the peak. the building itself was like, just over 200 years old, i think. we have some vague recollection of them having a bicentennial one year while we were there or maybe just after we left for high school. hmm.
the high school we first went to was catholic, too -- changed to another, non-denominational, after a few months, had an alright enough time time until issues kicked back in a lot harder, had to leave for good -- anyway first school, it was like the gateway high for the primary we went to i think. we remember literally only two kids in our class went to the other instead of this one and they were brothers and we loved one of them and i think that was why we moved, because it just wasn't the same being away from him. the school was called notre dame which i feel means Our Lady in reference again to mary but pls don't quote us on that.
we did first communion in primary four meaning we were... nine i think? nine or maybe eight hmm. first communion is, well, the first time you take communion and your parents have to buy you dumb fancy dress shoes for it and rosaries and they make you wear these really stupid heavy white robes and you have to memorise this one prayer that we cannot recall the actual words for now to save our life but we for some reason very vividly remember something vague about fire and wind. the fire of god. God. idk. it always bothered us you couldn't wear the rosaries around your neck yknow? don't make them necklaces and call it blasphemy to actually wear them like you do every other necklace in existence. or is that like some baby's first temptation of christ stuff
our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil AMEN breathes
i can remember the hail mary by sound but i don't know a single word of it actually. they never taught us what it meant. so to us it's just ave maria, gracia plena, dominus taekoom??? benedit tattoo MAN FUCK IF WE KNOW we could probably recite you it without a second's thought, mind. it was a pretty nice prayer. i think it was our favourite
got a bit bogged down by having to think it constantly after being forced into confessionals though lmao. they were the stupidest thing!!! also a bit depressing. if you told them you had no sins to confess they would just be all "nonsense, everyone is a sinner". catholicism is all fairly gloomy, really. the entire concept of original sin, constant self-flagellation, eternal threat of fire and brimstone hanging over you, etc etc. man it's actually kind of a wonder we're not more screwed up today over our eventual rejection of the judeo-christian god the father, isn't it! a lot of people grow up pretty self-loathing because of it all, pretty repressed. admittedly we did go through a fair sized period of being really sincerely scared of going to hell but i think it's over for good now. now we're basically a shameless godless gross teen blasphemer well oops HERE BECOMES THE BODY AND BLOOD OF CHRIST YOU SAY? OH TRANSUBSTANTIATION, YOU SPEAK TO MY SOUL
no but we are genuinely interested in this -- we want to maybe re-explore it now from a decidedly non christian (esp not catholic) view, hmm. could be interesting?! looking over the bible and reading up on familiar doctrine and seeing now how odd it might all seem to us even though at the time we never thought about any of it.
oh dude we opened up the page for a new entry with something entirely different in mind to write and somehow this happened? what the hell. and now this post feels too long to add on the actual original thing because i think that'd get pretty long, too. and they're not really connected or anything so it'd feel really arbitrary and strange anyway. FUCK
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man it's probably silly but we're esp a lil intrigued by the 'artifacts' of it...! things like the shroud of turin, the spear/lance of longinus, etc. also: did u know (you v prob do im sure lmao but still) that in catholic chapels or at least the one we went to, they tell you stuff about jesus' remains, like actual physical remains, being kept in churches? they're in little cupboards behind the altars. seriously they never show them or anything obv but i could SWEAR being told something like this as a little kid a few times. we recall being really vividly fascinated by it at the time, haha
and yet again the catholic interpretation of communion is such a gloriously morbid thing, good lord. mm have you ever tasted the communion bread ennis? it's really dry and spongy and not nice at all. IF THAT'S WHAT FLESH TASTES LIKE THEN WE'RE NOT INTERESTED AFTER ALL I GUESS... oh & i think for the wine they just give you like, fruit juice or something nowadays. but it doesn't taste very nice either.
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but anyway the point is we went there a couple of times and we don't remember all that much of the actual country, just being around disneyland (we refused to actually go on any rides out of fear though so it was v boring), but i do remember we went to notre dame at least once. the actual cathedral, i mean. they played the organ and it was the most soul-twisting noise we've ever heard -- does that make sense, soul-twisting? it makes your bones feel all shaky and your stomach clench. it's a really wonderful noise but a little terrifying... it feels almost like at that moment you're being watched by god himself, honestly. we remember it so well it's a little shocking, considering how little we remember of most anything else from those trips. but then again not so shocking when you remember how it makes you feel. hmm
speaking of cathedrals etc -- do you know of the sedlec ossuary? it's something that we're really infatuated with i suppose atm. it reminds us of you a little ::') we look at it and don't think "oh how creepy how gross" but more "goodness how lovely, we'd like to go there one day...!", and then we tend to think "i bet ennis would appreciate this". SORRY IF THAT'S WEIRD LMAO but yes sometimes we see things and just immediately connect them with people we know and when it comes to you it's often things like facts of mythology, religion/spirituality, astronomy etc and sometimes it just happens to be dead things. i'm not sure why.
anyway going back to the ossuary in all honesty there's a little gross prince-of-the-dead inside of us that when he sees things like this thinks "oh i would like to live somewhere that looked like that!". although it'd be terribly impractical i imagine. and probably very spooky but. we'd kind of like to live somewhere SPOOKY!!!! ooooo
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it's all a bit silly, but really interesting from an outsider perspective! i never really believed in anything to begin with, so even as a kid, going to church was just looking at all these weird rituals from an outsider's perspective
even when i was really young i never really took it seriously. i remember my mom telling me that if i sinned three times i'd go to hell. and i thought lying was a sin so after the third time i lied i was like WELP GUESS I'M GOING TO HELL but didn't really care much.
strangely enough despite coming from a v. catholic family i never went to catholic school. guess my parents didn't want to pay for it
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yeah we kind of just ended up with that deterministic view on it eventually ourself... we worried about it for a long time but i think in the last year or two of school we just stopped caring lmao. oh well guess if there's a hell we're gonna go to it!!! big deal so is like everyone else according to actual catholic rule if you apply it literally so. WHATEVER but really we never believed in a hell at all. even when we sort of vaguely bought into some other christian stuff.
ahh the thing is that it's different here i think -- most schools round here are just catholic as a thing, not like boarding schools with nuns or anything, just normal schools that have catholicism practised in them as a constant but it's not like the one and only focus. you don't need to pay for them at all. you'd probably be harder pressed getting your kid into a non-denominational school here than a catholic one, honestly, hmmm.